I’ll get these,” I told my date cheerily, indicating the two glasses of wine we’d ordered at the bar. Medium glasses, I should add. Of house wine. From a standard – not gastro – pub. I would quickly come to regret making such a recklessly generous offer.

我來買單，"我高興地對我的約會對象說，指了指我們剛在吧臺點的兩杯酒。我得補充說明，這兩杯是中杯，自家釀造的普通葡萄酒。這是一家普通酒吧，而不是高級餐廳。很快，我就會為自己這個魯莽慷慨的提議感到后悔。

“That’ll be ￡21,” said the barman – without the merest hint of a smile to suggest that this was his idea of a rather tasteless joke. It took every ounce of self-restraint not to gasp, hand fluttering to my chest, and shriek “I beg your pardon?” in a tone shrill enough to shatter glass. It was, after all, a first date. We were at least four rendezvous away from me feeling comfortable enough to become the physical manifestation of my mother.

酒保說：“總共21英鎊。”臉上沒有一絲笑容，完全沒有表明這是他開的一個相當無趣的玩笑。我盡力克制自己沒有把手捂到胸口深吸一口氣尖叫道“你說什么？”，我相信我這尖叫聲足以震碎玻璃杯。但畢竟，這只是我第一次約會。至少還需要四次約會，我才會覺得自在，完全展示出隨我母親的那種風格。

“Sure – ￡21? Of course. Right you are. No problem.”

“好的 21英鎊？好的，給你錢。沒問題。”

It was the week before payday. My brain stirred into action, firing off rapid strings of mental arithmetic: he would buy me back a drink, presumably, so we could stay for one more after this, but I probably couldn’t stretch to another round. I was supposed to be seeing an old friend for dinner the next night and was due to go on another first date the night after that. Should I cancel the other date? Or just put it all on the credit card? I could transfer some money from my savings, but I’d already done that the previous month, and the month before…

發(fā)薪日的前一周，我的大腦開始活躍起來，迅速進行一連串的心算：他應該會回請我一杯，這樣我們還可以再喝一杯，但我大概不能再負擔下一輪了。我原本打算第二天晚上和一位老朋友共進晚餐，再之后的晚上還有另一個第一次約會。我該取消另一個約會嗎？還是干脆把所有開銷都刷信用卡？我可以從儲蓄里轉些錢出來，但我已經(jīng)在上個月和上上個月這樣做了……

Talk about a buzz kill. Here I was, preoccupied by my bank balance, when I should have been focusing on making eye contact and charmingly frivolous conversation – laying down the romantic groundwork that would make dragging myself across town mid-week a genuinely worthwhile activity.

真是掃興。我本該沉浸于眼神交流和充滿魅力的輕松對話氣氛當中，奠定浪漫的基礎，讓我在工作日中穿越整個城市來到這里變的值得，但現(xiàn)在我卻在煩惱銀行賬戶的余額。

“The cost of living crisis has had a huge effect on people in a multitude of ways, including how we spend our leisure time, and yes, even how we date,” says Thimbl’s financial expert, Alex Kosuth-Phillips. “People are more budget-savvy than ever, with more than half of UK adults admitting to spending less on non-essentials as a direct result of the increased cost of living.”

“生活成本危機對人們產(chǎn)生了多方面的巨大影響，包括我們?nèi)绾味冗^閑暇時光，是的，甚至包括我們?nèi)绾渭s會，”Thimbl 的金融專家亞歷克斯-科蘇斯-菲利普斯（Alex Kosuth-Phillips）說：“人們比以往任何時候都更加精打細算，一半以上的英國成年人承認，生活成本增加的直接后果是減少了非必需品的支出?！?/b>

Another survey from 2023 crunched the numbers on modern-day trysts to find that the majority of UK singles spent ￡60 per date – though for 13 per cent of respondents this could shoot up to over ￡100 for a first meeting. The research from Novuna Personal Finance revealed that the average person splashes a whopping ￡1,652 in total before finding a special someone, after an average of 15 dates. Despite the fact that, as per the Aqua research, people reported they could only afford an average of ￡38 per date. The numbers don’t add up.

2023 年的另一項調(diào)查對現(xiàn)代人的約會進行了統(tǒng)計，發(fā)現(xiàn)大多數(shù)英國單身男女的每次約會花費為 60 英鎊，但有 13% 的受訪者的第一次約會花費可能超過 100 英鎊。Novuna 個人理財公司的調(diào)查顯示，平均每個人在約會 15 次之后，總共花費高達 1652 英鎊才能找到一個特別的人。大約經(jīng)歷15次約會。盡管根據(jù)Aqua的研究，人們報告說他們每次約會只能負擔平均38英鎊的花費。這些數(shù)字并不一致。
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Whether it’s ￡100, ￡60 or ￡38, it’s still a hell of a lot to shell out on what is, let’s face it, more likely to be a letdown than a triumph. In simpler – read, cheaper – times, it was easy to chalk up a bad date to experience. Oh well. Better luck next time. These days, it’s hard not to start actively resenting them. It’s hard not to start calculating whether the conversational enjoyment to monetary spend ratio stacks up, at a point when you should be getting lost in the moment and losing track of time (an endeavour made all but impossible by the constant “ping” of banking app notifications informing you that the last round tipped you back into an unarranged overdraft). It’s hard not to start listening to the cynical voice in your head arguing, rather compellingly, that you’d probably have a much better evening hanging out with your mates. At least then the financial worries would be partially offset by a riotously enjoyable evening.

無論是100英鎊、60英鎊還是38英鎊，這都是一筆巨款，而且坦白說，第一次約會更有可能是失望而不是成功。在更為簡單也就是更便宜的過去，人們很容易把一次糟糕的約會當作經(jīng)驗教訓。哦，好吧。下次好運。而如今，很難不對這些約會心生怨恨。很難不開始計算聊天樂趣與金錢花費的比例是否值得，在你本該沉浸在當下、忘記時間的時候（幾乎被銀行應用程序不斷的“?！甭曁嵝涯闵弦惠喯M讓你超支了所打斷）。很難不去聽從腦海中那個憤世嫉俗的聲音，這個聲音頗有說服力地告訴你，與朋友們一起度過的晚上可能會更愉快。至少那樣，財務上的擔憂會被一個熱鬧愉快的夜晚部分抵消。
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Then there are the costs incurred before you even get to the date part: the hundreds of pounds invested in prep, from new threads to haircuts, perfume and cologne to makeup. All of it splurged in the vain hope that, in time, this initial outlay might lead to you spending more money still – on lingerie. All these pre-date expenses can add another ￡40 per date, according to the Novuna survey.

還有在約會之前的花費：數(shù)百英鎊的準備投資，從新衣服到發(fā)型，從香水和古龍水到化妝品。所有這一切的揮霍都是為了一個妄想，那就是隨著時間的推移，最初的花費可能會讓你花更多的錢--在內(nèi)衣上。根據(jù) Novuna 的調(diào)查，所有這些約會前的開銷會讓每次約會再增加 40 英鎊。

In this economy? It’s enough to make you give up on the whole sorry business, take Hamlet’s advice and “get thee to a nunnery”.

在這種經(jīng)濟環(huán)境下？足以讓人對糟糕的事情都感到絕望失去信心，照著哈姆雷特的建議去“到一個修道院去”。

“Finances are at the forefront of people’s minds at the moment, and this is forcing people to be more thoughtful about how they connect with potential partners,” relationship expert and co-founder of dating app So Syncd, Jessica Alderson, agrees. “For some, this means being more sextive about who they date, and for others, this involves finding more creative, affordable ways to spend time with someone.”

“目前，財務問題是人們頭腦中的首要考慮因素，這迫使人們更加深思如何與曖昧對象建立聯(lián)系，”約會應用程序So Syncd的關系專家兼聯(lián)合創(chuàng)始人Jessica Alderson表示同意。“對于一些人來說，這意味著更加謹慎地選擇約會對象，而對于另一些人來說，這意味著尋找更具創(chuàng)意、更經(jīng)濟實惠的方式與他人共度時光?！?/b>

She also highlights that the cost of living crisis is “impacting people’s mental health and overall wellbeing. Some people don’t have the emotional energy or motivation to date in the midst of financial stress. It’s just not always a priority when you’re struggling to make ends meet.”

她還強調(diào)了生活成本危機對“人們的心理健康和整體幸福感的影響。一些人在財務壓力下沒有情感上的能量或動力去約會。當你勉力維持生計時，約會并不總是一個優(yōu)先考慮的事情?！?/b>

What’s particularly unfair about all this is that being single itself comes at a price – there are strong financial incentives to date purely so you can get coupled up and cut costs. Single people are forced to spend an average of ￡9,298 more per year when they live alone. Dubbed the “singles tax”, this massive extra financial burden is, according to research from UK Debt Expert, comprised of paying for rent and bills, plus annual lifestyle outgoings such as weddings, car insurance, streaming services, Christmas, holidays and takeaways, all without a partner to share the load. With the average UK salary coming in at ￡34,963, the total singles tax could equal about 30 per cent of your take-home pay.

所有這些尤為不公平的地方在于，單身本身也是要付出代價的——這里存在一個強大的財務動機就是純粹為了搭伙過日子而約會，從而降低生活成本。單身人士在獨自生活時，被迫每年多花費約9298英鎊。根據(jù)英國債務專家的研究，這被稱為“單身稅”，這種巨大的額外財務負擔包括支付房租和賬單，以及年度生活開支，如婚禮、汽車保險、流媒體服務、圣誕節(jié)、假期和外賣等，所有這些都沒有伴侶來分擔。由于英國的平均工資為34963英鎊，單身稅的總額可能相當于你的稅后收入的約30%。

“This premium that singles are having to pay leaves far less disposable income for other costs, like dating, socialising, owning a pet or attending a wedding; parts of modern life no one should feel they need to miss because of costs,” says Maxine McCreadie, personal finance expert at UK Debt Expert.

英國債務專家公司（UK Debt Expert）的個人理財專家瑪克辛-麥克雷迪（Maxine McCreadie）說：“單身人士不得不支付的這筆保費，使得他們用于約會、社交、養(yǎng)寵物或參加婚禮等其他費用的可支配收入大大減少；沒有人會認為自己會因為費用問題而錯過現(xiàn)代生活中的某些部分。”

Under such circumstances, it perhaps makes sense that one in three couples are only staying together because they fear “not being able to afford to live alone”, according to Experian research. I don’t blame them, in all honesty. An extra ￡9k a year; a further ￡60 per date. When J Lo sang “My love don’t cost a thing”, she clearly wasn’t weathering an economic downturn.

在這種情況下，根據(jù)益百利公司（Experian）的調(diào)查，每三對夫婦中就有一對因為擔心 “無法負擔獨居生活 ”而在一起，這也許是合情合理的。說實話，我并不怪他們。每年多花 9000 英鎊；每次約會多花 60 英鎊。當 J Lo 唱出 “我的愛不需要付出任何代價 ”時，她顯然沒有經(jīng)歷經(jīng)濟衰退。

So has the cost of living crisis killed romance stone dead? Not necessarily, but you might have to get a bit more creative with how you go about it. One of Alderson’s tips is to plan dates that involve free activities, such as visiting a local park or museum. “These types of activities not only save money but can also allow for more meaningful conversations,” she says. “A lot of people actually like simple dates such as going for a walk because it’s a low-pressure way to connect. Particularly if it’s a first date, and you’re not sure if you like each other yet, it can be refreshing to do something that doesn’t involve a major time or financial commitment.”

那么，生活成本危機是否已經(jīng)讓浪漫一去不復返了呢？不一定，但你可能需要在如何進行浪漫方面多一點創(chuàng)意。奧爾德森的建議之一是計劃一些免費活動的約會，比如參觀當?shù)氐墓珗@或博物館?！八f：“這類活動不僅省錢，還能讓我們進行更有意義的交談。“很多人其實喜歡散步這樣簡單的約會，因為這是一種低壓力的溝通方式。特別是如果這是第一次約會，你們還不確定是否喜歡對方，做一些不需要投入大量時間或金錢的事情會讓人耳目一新?！?/b>
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Another “hack” is to look for deals online, advises Kosuth-Phillips: “There’s absolutely no shame in using cinema and restaurant discount codes to help towards the cost of an evening out. Additionally, don’t feel obliged to foot the entire bill. Regardless of your gender, you’re under no obligation to fund the whole outing.” One 2024 survey revealed that just 19 per cent of women believe that men should pay on a date. It is 2024, after all.

另一個 “秘訣 ”是在網(wǎng)上尋找優(yōu)惠團購，Kosuth-Phillips 建議說： “使用電影院和餐館的折扣代碼來幫助支付晚上外出的費用絕對不是什么丟人的事。此外，不要覺得自己有義務承擔全部費用。無論你的性別如何，你都沒有義務為整個外出活動買單?！?2024 年的一項調(diào)查顯示，只有 19% 的女性認為約會時應該由男性買單。畢竟現(xiàn)在是 2024 年。

And, if you’re later on in the dating journey with somebody, consider cooking a meal together at home instead of going out to eat. Not only is it more affordable, “it can also be a fun and intimate way to spend time together”, says Alderson. “Adding special touches like candles can make it feel like even more of an event than going out, but at a fraction of the cost. A movie night at home with homemade popcorn is another budget-friendly and cosy date idea.”

另外，如果你和某人約會的時間比較晚，可以考慮在家一起做飯，而不是出去吃。奧爾德森說："這不僅更經(jīng)濟實惠，也是一種有趣而親密的共處方式。添加蠟燭等特殊裝飾會讓人感覺比外出就餐更像一場活動，但成本卻很低。在家看電影、吃自制爆米花是另一種經(jīng)濟實惠又溫馨的約會方式?！?br />
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