QA話題：你見過游客做的最蠢的事是什么？

Thomas Edward Friedrich
As a young man I was a bush pilot in Africa. I lived in tents in safari camps, flew tourists and hunters around, dined with them every day, and hung out with them. We used to analyze the different nationalities of tourists, and everyone joked that it was the Germans were most likely to get eaten. They were adventurers, didn’t like being coddled as tourists, and would say things like, “I vant to see zee real Ah-frika.”
One of the camps I flew in and out of was particularly wild and scary. It was on the edge of the Okavango Delta, where I was based in Botswana. This meeting of bush and swamp was an active game zone - crocs, hippos, etc. And… hyenas, the creepiest animals in Africa. They made an eerie sound at night. “whoooo whoop!” Hyenas are vicious scavengers and opportunists. They are insanely persistent. They won’t give up.
Two German tourist dudes turned up at that camp, and unbeknownst to the camp manager, they brought a pup-tent with them. Unsatisfied with the safety of the camp, they wanted to experience ‘the real Africa.’ So, after dinner then went out in the bush, well away from the camp, pitched their pup tent, got in their sleeping bags, and went to sleep. Hyenas found them,...

【回答】
年輕的時候，我在非洲當(dāng)過叢林飛行員。我住在野營地的帳篷里，帶著游客和獵人飛來飛去，每天和他們一起吃飯，一起出去玩。我們經(jīng)常分析不同國籍的游客，大家都開玩笑說，德國人最容易被吃掉。他們是冒險家，不喜歡被當(dāng)做游客來呵護，他們會說“我想看看真正的非洲"。
在我飛進飛出的營地中，有一個特別狂野可怕。它位于奧卡萬戈三角洲的邊緣，我當(dāng)時就駐扎在博茨瓦納。叢林和沼澤的交匯處是活躍的區(qū)域——有鱷魚、河馬等。還有... 鬣狗，非洲最令人毛骨悚然的動物。它們在夜里發(fā)出陰森恐怖的聲音"嗚嗚嗚！"鬣狗是兇殘的食腐動物，也是機會主義者，它們非常執(zhí)著，不會放棄。
兩個德國游客來到營地，營地經(jīng)理不知道他們還帶了一個小帳篷。他們對營地的安全性不滿意，想體驗一下 "真正的非洲"。于是，晚飯后，他們來到遠離營地的灌木叢中，支起小帳篷，套上睡袋，沉沉睡去。然后鬣狗發(fā)現(xiàn)了他們...

G McDonald
I live next to Algonquin park in Canada.
A woman put honey on her toddlers hand and pushed him towards a wild black bear and her cub.
She said she wanted a picture of the cub licking the honey off her kids hand.
Another woman tried to put her kid on the back of an 8′ moose for a picture.
P. S. Moose are more likely to attack than a black bear.
A family got lost because they wandered off the well marked trail.
It took several hours to find them with police dogs. At one point they lit a fire but walked away from it, fortunately some Wardens found it before it spread.
They had one cell phone, but killed the battery listening to Punjabi music.
When they were finally rescued, I asked how they got lost.
The guy said” I got lost here last year, and I wanted to show my friends where.”

【回答】
我住在加拿大阿爾岡昆公園旁邊。
一名婦女把蜂蜜涂在蹣跚學(xué)步的孩子手上，然后把他推向一只野生黑熊和它的幼崽。
她說她想要一張熊寶寶舔她孩子手上蜂蜜的照片。
還有一名婦女試圖把她的孩子放在 8 英尺長的駝鹿背上拍照。
P.S. 駝鹿比黑熊更容易攻擊人。
有一家人因為偏離了有標記的小路而迷路了。
警犬花了幾個小時才找到他們。他們還點燃了一把火，卻走開了，幸好一些管理員在火勢蔓延之前發(fā)現(xiàn)了。
他們有一部手機，但在聽旁遮普音樂時耗光了電池。
當(dāng)他們最終獲救時，我問他們是怎么迷路的。
那人說："我去年在這里迷路了，我想告訴我的朋友們在哪里"。

Delta Killo
I was the dumb tourist apparently.
Visiting a Hardrock Cafe in LA for dinner when I heard a lady calling out (screaming) “help, help, he's choking”.
Plenty people around bit they were just watching this guy go slow blue. Being the super hero I am, I jumped up, pulled the guy out of his booth (he was not a small man even by American standards) got him up right, arms around his chest and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre by pumping his lower chest a few times. A largish half chewed chunk of steak flew out of his mouth, bounced off my wrist, and on to the floor, and he started to breath. The man the slid back into his seat and continued eating his meal.
I was appalled, where I come from when someone saves your life you say thanks, maybe even buy them a drink!
After resuming my seat, the waitress came over and told me I had done a good job. She then said something along the lines of that was a brave and selfless act. I was confused, it’s basic first aid when someone is choking. She then explained if you had broken a rib or dropped him he probably would have sued you for damages.
I saw him on the way out standing in the restaurant doorway. I asked him “you alright mate?” He replied with attitude “yeah, what do you want” - I sort of regretted helping the fat fella at that point of the evening.

【回答】
顯然，我是那個愚蠢的游客。
在洛杉磯的 Hardrock 咖啡館用餐時，我聽到一位女士在呼喊（尖叫）"救命，救命，他噎住窒息了"。
周圍有很多人，他們都在看著這個人臉色慢慢發(fā)青。作為超級英雄，我跳了起來，把這家伙從包間里拉了出來（即使按照美國的標準，他也不是個小個子），讓他站起來，雙臂環(huán)抱在胸前，做了海姆立克急救法，在他的下胸按壓了幾下。一大塊嚼了一半的牛排從他嘴里飛了出來，從我的手腕上彈到地板上，他開始呼吸了。那個人滑回座位，繼續(xù)吃他的飯。
我很震驚，在我老家，如果有人救了你的命，你會說謝謝，甚至可能會請他喝一杯！
回到座位后，女服務(wù)員走過來告訴我，我做得很好。然后她說了些什么，大意是說我的行為很勇敢，很無私。我很困惑，這是基本的急救措施，當(dāng)有人噎住的時候。她接著解釋說，如果你打斷了他的肋骨或把他摔倒了，他可能會起訴你要求賠償。
出門時，我看到他站在餐廳門口。我問他 "你還好嗎？他態(tài)度強硬地回答："沒事，你想要什么"——我有點后悔當(dāng)晚幫助了這個胖子。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://nxnpts.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處

Don Plotz
Niagara Falls, overlooking Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Despite clear warnings in multiple languages (and even pictographs) to not climb on the fence, our heroine decided she wanted her friend to take a picture of her on top of one of the stone fence pillars (maybe 2 feet square or less). So she climbs up onto the pillar in her heeled sandals. Her friend takes a picture. Not good enough. She wants a picture with her in midair above the pillar, so she proceeds to jump into the air while her friend takes the picture. It took 3 tries. Finally she climbed down.
My wife, my then 10 year old daughter, and I were sitting in the grass nearby watching this and cringing each time she jumped, fully expecting her to plunge to her death when her foot came down wrong on the uneven wet surface. Fortunately, nothing bad happened in this instance, but they do get mulitple falls per year from just such stupidity. I often wonder if she ever realized later how dumb this really was and how easily she could have died for a vacation picture.

【回答】
尼亞加拉瀑布，俯瞰加拿大一側(cè)的馬蹄瀑布。盡管有多種語言（甚至還有象形字）明確警告不要爬上柵欄，但我們的女主角還是決定讓她的朋友在柵欄的一根石柱（大概2英尺或更?。╉斏辖o她拍張照片。于是，她穿著高跟涼鞋爬上了石柱。她的朋友拍了一張照片。拍得不夠好。她想拍一張她在石柱半空中的照片，于是她在朋友拍照時跳到了半空中。她試了三次。最后，她爬了下來。
我妻子、我當(dāng)時10歲的女兒和我就坐在附近的草地上看著這一幕，每次她跳下來的時候我都很害怕，完全以為她會因為腳踩在不平的濕滑表面上而摔死。幸運的是，這次沒有發(fā)生什么意外，但他們每年都會因為這種愚蠢的行為而摔倒好幾次。我常常在想，她后來是否會意識到這有多蠢，為了一張旅游照片而喪命。

David Charles Leithauser
I was driving on a narrow one-way road in the Smokey Mountains when suddenly the traffic stopped. I could not continue. I got out and walked to the head of the line to find out what was up. People were watching a black bear rambling through the underbrush. One tourist got out of his car and went right up to the bear to take a close-up shot of its face. I mean really close, like a few feet. The bear must have been a bit camera-shy, because he/she gave the tourist a good swat on the nose with its paw, claws and all. I doubt that the tourist would try that again.

【回答】
我駕車行駛在煙山中一條狹窄的單行道上，突然車流停止了。我無法繼續(xù)行駛。下了車，我走到隊伍的最前面，想弄清楚發(fā)生了什么事。人們正在觀看一只黑熊在灌木叢中漫步。一名游客下了車，走到黑熊跟前，對著它的臉拍了一張?zhí)貙?。我的意思是真的很近，就像幾英尺那么近。這只熊一定是有點怕上鏡，因為它用爪子狠狠地拍了一下那個游客的鼻子。我懷疑這名游客是否還會再試一次。

Shrlly
I live in Hawai’i. In the winter, the waves can get up to 30 feet. From November-February, signs are posted everywhere about high surf and dangerous rip currents. My best friend is a fantastic swimmer and knows how to deal with big waves because she's been learning to be safe in big surf her whole life. A woman, clearly not local, dove in when it was relatively flat. She saw a set coming and started freaking out. My friend told the woman to stay in the water and swim out deeper to avoid the waves crashing on her.
The woman ignored my friend and rushed to get back to the beach. The water was pulling at her and she didn’t make it to the sand before the waves did. The first wave crashed on her and she was absolutely pounded. The woman climbed out of the water afterward minus her bikini bottoms. She was unharmed but completely embarrassed. But she could have been killed.

【回答】
我住在夏威夷。冬天，海浪可達 30 英尺。從 11 月到次年 2 月，到處都張貼著大浪和危險激流的告示。我最好的朋友游泳很厲害，知道如何應(yīng)對大浪，因為她一生都在學(xué)習(xí)在大浪中保持安全。一名女士顯然不是本地人，她在海浪相對平緩的時候跳入水中。當(dāng)她看到海浪來襲，開始驚慌失措了。我的朋友告訴那名女士留在水里，游到更深的地方，避免海浪撞到她身上。
這名女士沒有理會我的朋友，急忙跑回海灘。海浪向她襲來，她沒能趕在海浪之前跑到沙灘上。第一個浪沉重地打在她身上。之后，這名女士從水里爬出來，但下身的比基尼已經(jīng)不見了。她沒有受傷，但十分尷尬。不過，她本可能會因此喪命。

Ron Irwin Senior Lecturer at University of Cape Town (1994–present)
I swear the following story is true…
I went on a guided 4 x 4 tour in some of the natural parks of Botswana, Namibia and Zimbabwe with some other folks a while back. Our guide was a pretty tough looking fellow who was very well versed in the natural world. He was happy to point out the various flora and fauna that we passed as we drove through the parks and, at one point, were poled along the Okavango swamps in low canoes called mokoros.
But we did have one American woman on the trip who really had come to Africa utterly clueless. Her first question when we came across a pod of hippos was “Where do the hippos lay their eggs?”
Uh…h(huán)ippos are mammals, ma’am. They don’t lay eggs.
At one point we came to an incredibly beautiful desolate area where there were ancient baobab trees on the edge of magnificent salt pans, or flats. They are called “Baines’ Baobabs” after the famous naturalist Thomas Baines who painted these in 1862. These magnificent trees are up to 4000 years old and have changed little over the years. They are surely a sight of a lifetime, and as I sat sipping a whisky with the guide and taking this in, I reflected on how lucky I was to see this far flung marvel…

【回答】開普敦大學(xué)高級講師（1994 年 - 至今）
我發(fā)誓下面的故事是真的...
前不久，我和其他人一起在波茨瓦納、納米比亞和津巴布韋的一些自然公園里參加了一次4x4越野車旅行。我們的導(dǎo)游是個看起來很強壯的家伙，他對自然界非常了解。當(dāng)我們驅(qū)車穿越公園時，他很高興地為我們指出所經(jīng)過的各種動植物，有一次，我們還乘坐一種叫做 mokoros 的低矮獨木舟，沿著奧卡萬戈沼澤地前行。

不過，這次旅行中確實有一名美國女士，她來到非洲時真的是一無所知。當(dāng)我們遇到一群河馬時，她的第一個問題就是 "河馬在哪里產(chǎn)卵？"
呃... 河馬是哺乳動物，女士。它們不下蛋。

有一次，我們來到一片無比美麗的荒涼地帶，那里有許多古老的猴面包樹，位于壯觀的鹽盤或平地邊緣。這些樹被稱為 "貝恩斯猴面包樹"，取自著名自然學(xué)家托馬斯-貝恩斯，他在1862 年繪制了這些樹的畫。這些壯觀的樹木樹齡長達 4000 年，多年來幾乎沒有什么變化。當(dāng)我和導(dǎo)游坐在一起一邊喝著威士忌一邊欣賞這些美景時，我不禁想到自己是多么幸運，能夠看到這個遙遠的奇跡...

This woman sat there saying “These trees are ugly. This is all so ugly.”
The guide was getting a bit impatient with her, and as we drove on the next day we came across elephant dung in the road…it is literally everywhere because elephants are so plentiful in Botswana.
The guide pointed at it and then said, offhandedly, “The elephants came by here pretty recently, we should see them later.”
The woman looked at the dung wide eyed and said, “How long ago did they pass by?”
The guide had had it by then.
It’s pretty obvious that wet looking dung is recent dung and dry dung is old dung, but instead of calmly explaining this to her, he jumped out of the jeep and bent over the dung, sniffed it, and then stuck a finger in it and cleverly licked his middle (non-dung covered) finger, “I think they came by 23 minutes ago. They are close.”

這名女士坐在那里說："這些樹太丑了。所有都太丑了"
導(dǎo)游對她有點不耐煩了，第二天我們開車在路上遇到了大象的糞便......因為大象在博茨瓦納非常多，所以象糞簡直隨處可見。
導(dǎo)游指了指那堆糞便，然后隨口就說："大象最近才來過這里，我們一會兒應(yīng)該能看到它們。"
女士睜大眼睛看著那堆糞便說："他們是多久之前經(jīng)過的？"
導(dǎo)游當(dāng)時已經(jīng)受夠了。
很明顯，濕的糞便是最近的糞便，而干的糞便則是很久的糞便，但他并沒有平靜地向她解釋，而是跳下吉普車，彎腰在糞便上聞了聞，然后把一根手指伸進糞便里，巧妙地舔了舔自己的中指（沒有沾到糞便），"我想它們23分鐘前就來過了，很近?！?/b>