生活對一個人可以有多不友善?
How unkind can life be for a person?譯文簡介
網友討論面對生活中的挫折
正文翻譯
How unkind can life be for a person?
生活對一個人可以有多不友善?
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1. If you're not popular, you want fame.
2. If you're popular, you want privacy.
3. If you are poor, you need money.
4. If you are rich you realize that there is still a lack of happiness in your life. You just want to live a simple life.
5. Life becomes stressful if you are intelligent because you are not able to ignore anything.
6. If you're clumsy, you make mistakes because of your ignorant behavior.
7. If you're single, you want a relationship.
8. If you're in a relationship, you want some space and freedom.
1. 如果你不受歡迎,你會渴望成名。
2. 如果你很受歡迎,你會想要隱私。
3. 如果你是窮人,你需要錢。
4. 如果你很富有,你會發(fā)現生活中仍然缺乏幸福感。你只想過簡單的生活。
5. 如果你很聰明,生活變得很有壓力,因為你無法忽視任何事情。
6. 如果你很笨拙,就會因為你無知的行為而犯錯誤。
7. 如果你單身,你想要一段戀愛關系。
8. 如果你處在一段戀愛關系中,你需要一些空間和自由。
If you are a powerful person, you realize that you have to handle all the responsibilities. And it's hard to identify who really loves you and who's pretending.
Life is never perfect. Every solution brings a new problem. Light exists because of darkness and this is the bitter truth of life. Acceptance is the only solution.
如果你不是一個有權勢的人,你會覺得人們支配著你。
如果你是一個有權勢的人,你應該意識到你必須承擔所有的責任。而且很難辨別誰是真心愛你,誰是假裝的。
生活從來不完美,每個解決方案都會帶來新的問題。光明存在是因為黑暗,這是生活的苦澀真相。接受現實是唯一的解決方案。
Once there was a woman named Shakshi who had endured a lifetime of hardships. She grew up in a poor family, with parents who were constantly struggling to make ends meet. Shakshi never had many opportunities to pursue her dreams, as she was forced to work long hours at minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet.
Despite her hard work, Shakshi continued to experience a series of setbacks and misfortunes. She was diagnosed with a chronic illness in her twenties, which made it difficult for her to work and took a toll on her mental health. She was in a car accident that left her with permanent injuries and chronic pain. And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, her beloved mother passed away, leaving her feeling lost and alone.
As Shakshi struggled to cope with her grief and pain, she found herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. She began to isolate herself from friends and family, feeling like nobody could truly understand what she was going through. She struggled to find meaning in her life, feeling like everything she had ever worked for had been taken away from her.
But then, something unexpected happened. One day, as Shakshi was sitting alone in a park, she noticed a group of children playing nearby. They were laughing and shouting, chasing each other around with wild abandon. As she watched them, Shakshi felt a glimmer of hope. For the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of joy and wonder in the world.
From that moment on, Shakshi began to seek out moments of beauty and joy in her life. She started to take walks in the park, admiring the flowers and trees that surrounded her. She joined a support group for people with chronic illnesses, finding comfort in the stories of others who had faced similar struggles. And she began to open herself up to the possibility of love and connection, reaching out to friends and family and letting them know how much they meant to her.
Though Shakshi's life had been unkind to her, she refused to let it break her. She found strength and resilience in the face of adversity, and learned to find joy and beauty in the world around her. Despite the challenges she faced, Shakshi was determined to live a life that was full of meaning and purpose.
從前有一個叫Shakshi的女人,她經歷了一生的艱辛。她在一個貧困的家庭中長大,父母不斷地努力謀生。Shakshi從未有過追求夢想的機會,因為她不得不在最低工資的工作崗位上長時間地工作才能維持生計。
盡管Shakshi非常努力,但她仍然經歷了一系列的挫折和不幸。她在二十多歲時被診斷出一種慢性疾病,這讓她很難工作,并對她的心理健康產生了影響。她曾經遭遇一場車禍,留下了永久性的傷害和慢性疼痛。就在她認為事情已經不能再糟糕的時候,她心愛的母親去世了,讓她感到迷茫和孤獨。
當Shakshi努力面對她的悲痛和痛苦時,她發(fā)現自己越陷越深地陷入絕望之中。她開始與朋友和家人疏遠,感覺沒有人能夠真正理解她所經歷的一切。她難以在生活中找到意義,感覺所有她曾經努力爭取的東西都被奪走了。
但是,突然發(fā)生了一些意外的事情。一天,當Shakshi獨自坐在公園里時,她注意到附近有一群孩子正在玩耍。他們笑著喊著,盡情追逐。當Shakshi觀察他們時,她感到了希望的曙光。很長一段時間以來,她第一次感到世界上存在著快樂和奇跡的感覺。
從那一刻開始,Shakshi開始尋找她生活中的美麗和快樂時刻。她開始在公園里散步,欣賞周圍的花草樹木。她加入了一個慢性病患者支持小組,在聽到其他人面對相似困境的故事中找到了安慰。她開始敞開心扉,接受愛和聯系的可能性,向朋友和家人伸出手,讓他們知道他們對她來說有多重要。
盡管Shakshi的生活對她來說很不友善,但她拒絕讓它打敗她。她在逆境中找到了力量和韌性,并學會從周圍的世界中尋找快樂和美麗。盡管面臨著挑戰(zhàn),Shakshi決心過一種有意義和目的的生活。
Life can be very unkind for following reasons!
Life can be unkind when unexpected and tragic events occur, such as accidents or natural disasters.
The loss of loved ones can be devastating and leave us feeling alone and helpless.
Financial difficulties can cause stress and anxiety, making it difficult to make ends meet and provide for ourselves and our families.
Health problems can be painful and debilitating, affecting our ability to enjoy life and do the things we love.
Failed relationships can be emotionally and mentally draining, leaving us feeling hurt and betrayed.
Discrimination and prejudice can make life unkind by causing us to feel excluded and unwelcome in certain spaces.
Mental health struggles, such as depression or anxiety, can make everyday tasks feel impossible and leave us feeling isolated and hopeless.
Overwhelming responsibilities, such as caring for a sick family member or raising children alone, can leave us feeling exhausted and burnt out.
Injustice and unfairness, such as experiencing discrimination or witnessing acts of violence, can make life feel unfair and unjust.
Feeling lost or purposeless in life can make it difficult to find direction and meaning, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from the world around us.
It's important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles and to seek help from friends, family, or professionals when needed. By finding ways to cope and overcome our challenges, we can emerge stronger and wiser.
生活可能會因為以下原因而殘酷無情!
生活可能會很殘酷,當意外和悲劇事件發(fā)生時,例如事故或自然災害。
失去所愛之人可能會讓我們感到毀滅性的痛苦,讓我們感到孤獨和無助。
財政困難可能會導致壓力和焦慮,使得我們難以維持生計并為自己和家人提供生活所需。
健康問題可能會令人痛苦和致殘,影響我們享受生活和做自己喜歡的事情的能力。
失敗的人際關系可能會在情感和心理上消耗我們,讓我們感到受傷和背叛。
歧視和偏見會讓生活變得殘酷,因為它們讓我們感到被排除在某些空間之外,不受歡迎。
心理健康的斗爭,如抑郁癥或焦慮癥,可以使日常任務感覺不可能完成,讓我們感到孤立和無助。
不堪重負的責任,例如照顧生病的家人或獨自撫養(yǎng)孩子,會讓我們感到精疲力竭和疲憊不堪。
不公和不公正,比如遭受歧視或目睹暴力行徑,會讓人們感到生活不平和不公。
在生活中感到迷?;驔]有目的感會使人難以找到方向和意義,讓我們感到不滿足,和與周圍的世界脫離。
重要的是要記住,在我們奮斗的過程中我們并不孤單,可以在需要時向朋友、家人或專業(yè)人士尋求幫助。通過找到應對和克服挑戰(zhàn)的方法,我們可以變得更強大、更明智。
Life can be incredibly unkind to a person, and it's unfortunate that many individuals experience difficult and challenging situations. Life's unkindness can manifest in various ways, such as personal setbacks, financial struggles, health issues, relationship problems, or the loss of loved ones. These adversities can leave a person feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and emotionally drained.
I have personally witnessed and experienced the unkindness of life. There was a time when I faced a series of setbacks and obstacles that seemed relentless. I encountered financial difficulties, lost a job that I loved, and experienced the breakdown of a significant relationship. It felt like life was throwing one curveball after another, leaving me questioning my purpose and resilience.
During those trying times, I learned some valuable lessons. I realized that life's unkindness does not define who we are as individuals. Instead, it presents an opportunity for growth, strength, and self-discovery. It taught me the importance of resilience, adaptability, and maintaining a positive mindset even in the face of adversity.
While life's unkindness can be overwhelming, it's crucial to remember that we have the power to rise above these challenges. Here are a few suggestions that helped me navigate through difficult times:
生活可以對一個人非常不友善,許多人不幸地遇到了困難和挑戰(zhàn)。生活的不友善可能以多種方式顯現,如個人挫折、經濟困境、健康問題、關系問題或失去所愛的人。這些逆境可能使一個人感到不知所措、無助和情緒憔悴。
我親身經歷了生活的無情和殘酷。曾經有一段時間,我經歷了接連不斷的挫折和障礙。我遇到了財務困難,失去了我愛的工作,經歷了一段重要關系的破裂。生活似乎一個接一個地發(fā)生著曲折,讓我對自己的目的和韌性產生了疑問。
在那些艱難的時刻,我學到了一些寶貴的經驗。我意識到生活的不公并不定義我們作為個體的身份。相反,它為成長、力量和自我發(fā)現提供了機會。它教會我堅韌、適應性的重要性,以及即使在逆境中也要保持積極的心態(tài)。
盡管生命中的殘酷可能是難以承受的,但關鍵是要記住,我們有能力超越這些挑戰(zhàn)。以下是一些幫助我度過困難時期的建議:
Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, prioritize self-care routines, and practice mindfulness or meditation.
Set realistic goals: Break down larger challenges into smaller, manageable goals. Celebrate small victories along the way, as they contribute to your overall progress.
Maintain a positive mindset: Focus on the aspects of life that bring you happiness and gratitude. Practice positive affirmations and seek opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement.
Embrace change: Life's unkindness often leads to unexpected changes. Embrace these changes as opportunities for growth, and be open to new experiences and possibilities.
Remember, everyone's journey is unique, and it's important to acknowledge that healing and overcoming life's unkindness takes time. Be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, and reach out for help when needed.
Life's unkindness may shake us to our core, but it is through these experiences that we develop resilience, empathy, and a deeper appreciation for the moments of joy and fulfillment. Stay strong, believe in yourself, and never underestimate your ability to overcome life's challenges.
尋求支持:讓自己周圍圍繞著一個穩(wěn)固的支持系統,包括朋友、家人或心理治療師,他們可以提供指導、鼓勵和同情。
實踐自我關懷:照顧您的身體和心理健康。參與讓您感到快樂的活動,優(yōu)先考慮自我關懷的日常程序,并練習正念或冥想。
設定現實目標:把較大的挑戰(zhàn)分解為更小、更可管理的目標。在一路上慶祝小小的勝利,因為它們對整體進展有所貢獻。
保持積極的心態(tài):關注那些讓你感到快樂和感激的生活方面。練習積極的肯定和尋求個人成長和自我提升的機會。
接受變化:生活的無情經常會導致意外的變化。將這些變化作為成長的機遇,積極接受新的體驗和可能性。
請記住,每個人的旅程都是獨特的,認識到愈合和克服生活的不公需要時間。要耐心對待自己,實踐自我憐憫,并在需要時向他人尋求幫助。
生活的不公可能會撼動我們的核心,但正是通過這些經歷,我們才能培養(yǎng)出韌性、同理心,并更深刻地欣賞快樂和滿足的時刻。保持堅強,相信自己,永不低估你戰(zhàn)勝生活挑戰(zhàn)的能力。
“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho
By nature, I am a happy, optimistic, idealistic person. I have always been one to look on the bright side and see the good in people. My usual philosophy in life is that the world is full of brightness, love, and possibilities to seize.
Recently, though, my philosophy began to fade in the face of a mild depression.
I began to cry a lot and retreat into myself rather than being social and opening up, which only furthered the problem. I felt alone, miserable, and, try as I might, I could not regain that feeling of the world being beautiful.
I felt like something had crawled into my brain and flipped all the positive switches off and the negative ones on. I felt hopeless, like it was more of a disease than a feeling.
Before the depression, I was a kind, gentle, and compassionate person. Sometimes I was even too gentle, afraid to bring up anything that might offend someone else or damage our relationship.
I didn’t understand how other people could be mean, rude, or offensive toward strangers or friends. I took it personally when people affronted me or were curt with me, believing they were truly out to get me for something I’d done.
“人們如何對待其他人直接反映了他們對自己的感受?!眫保羅·柯艾略
本性而言,我是一個快樂、樂觀、理想主義的人。我總是能夠從好的一面看待事物,看到人們身上的優(yōu)點。我通常的人生哲學是,這個世界充滿了光明、愛和值得把握的機會。
然而,最近我的哲學開始在輕微的抑郁面前逐漸消退。
我開始頻繁哭泣,不愿意社交和開放自己,這只會使問題更加惡化。我感到孤獨、痛苦,盡管我努力想讓世界變得美好,但卻無濟于事。
我感覺好像有什么東西爬進了我的腦子,把所有的積極開關都關掉了,把所有的消極開關都打開了。我感到絕望,好像這更像一種疾病而不是一種感覺。
在經歷抑郁癥之前,我是一個善良、溫柔、有同情心的人。有時我甚至過于溫柔,害怕提及任何可能冒犯他人或破壞我們關系的事情。
我不理解其他人如何可以對陌生人或朋友冷酷、粗魯或冒犯。當人們冒犯我或對我無禮時,我會認為他們是真的想找我麻煩,認為他們近來是針對我做了什么。
When I became depressed, though, my temper shortened and I felt far more irritable.
I had little patience for anything, and I lived in a constant state of anxiety about social interactions. Whenever I engaged in conversation with someone else, I assumed they found me boring, annoying, or self-obsessed, and it sent me even further into my sadness.
I started to become rude and unkind myself. I lashed out at people, or, more commonly, gave them passive aggressive excuses for distancing myself from them.
I even became prone to insulting people as a way of protecting myself if they didn’t like me.
I didn’t make a conscious decision to be mean. I didn’t wake up in the morning and think, “Today, I am going to hurt someone’s feelings.” It just happened in the moment when I was feeling especially down on myself.
Most of the people I was rude to were actually friends of mine, people I liked and had nothing against.
This is no excuse for rudeness, offensive behavior, or being unkind to other individuals. I am not proud of the way I’ve acted, and I’m not suggesting you follow in my footsteps, but it did give me a new perspective on other people I come across who are less than kind.
當人們表現得刻薄無情時,我覺得這是一種個人選擇,是一種有意識的決定,放棄關心他人的感受和觀點。
當我變得抑郁的時候,我的脾氣變得更加暴躁,我感到更容易煩躁。
我對任何事都缺乏耐心,而且我一直處于對社交互動的不安定狀態(tài)。每當我與別人進行交談時,我就會覺得他們覺得我無聊、煩人或自我執(zhí)著,這更讓我陷入悲傷之中。
我開始變得粗魯和不友善了。我向人們發(fā)脾氣,或者更常見的是用被動攻擊性的借口遠離他們。
如果別人不喜歡我,我甚至會用侮辱來保護自己。
我沒有刻意地決定要變得刻薄。我沒有早上醒來時想著:“今天,我要傷害某個人的感情?!敝皇窃谖腋械教貏e自卑的那一刻,它自然而然地發(fā)生了。
我對大部分人的粗魯行為實際上是在冒犯自己的朋友,我喜歡他們并沒有什么怨恨。
這并不是對粗魯、冒犯行為或對他人不友善的借口。我對自己的行為感到不驕傲,也不建議你效仿我的腳步,但這確實讓我對那些不友善的人有了新的認識。
People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope.
Being unkind, more often than not, is a reaction to anger with ourselves or our perceived inadequacy. When I was rude to other people, it was because I was afraid they wouldn’t like the nice me. I didn’t mind if they were angry at the fake, unkind me, because it really wasn’t me.
I felt unlovable, undesirable, and antisocial, and I needed a way to cope with these feelings by giving myself an alter ego that deserved to be disliked for reasons I could understand.
When you find that people are being rude to you in your everyday life, they are really being mean to themselves.
They have likely convinced themselves that they are unworthy of love, and that is the biggest tragedy of all.
You don’t have to tolerate it when others are not nice, but it’s not something to take personally.
You don’t have to internalize the meanness as a fault of your own. You can simply recognize that the person being rude is struggling with their own problems, and needs a way to cope with them.
當有人無緣無故地表現粗魯,特別是陌生人,這很少是個人攻擊,即使你無意中做了什么事情惹惱了他們。
人們并不是為了賭氣或針對你而刻意表現得刻薄,而是因為他們需要一種應對方式。
不善良往往是對自己或自己認為的不足感到生氣的一種反應。當我對別人不禮貌時,是因為我害怕他們不喜歡真正的我。如果他們對虛假和不友善的我感到生氣,我并不介意,因為那不是真正的我。
我感到自己不可愛,不受歡迎,反社會,并且我需要一種應對這些感受的方式,通過給自己創(chuàng)造一個替身角色,這個角色因我可以理解的原因而應該被不喜歡。
當你發(fā)現在日常生活中有人對你很粗魯時,實際上他們是在對自己很刻薄。
他們可能已經說服自己,認為他們不配得到愛,而這是最大的悲劇。
當別人不友好時,你不必容忍他們,但也不要把它當作個人攻擊。
你不必將惡意視為你自己的過錯,你可以理解,無禮的人正在處理自己的問題,他們需要一種應對方式。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網 http://nxnpts.cn 轉載請注明出處
If you yourself are the one who has been unkind, it is time for self-reflection. Why do you attack people? What are you trying to protect yourself from?
In my case, I got depressed because I felt socially awkward and I began losing friends. After that, I shied away from social gatherings, only augmenting the problem.
I constantly thought negative things, such as “Nobody likes you,” “Who would want to be your friend?” and “You are not worthy of the friends you have.” I created a toxic environment inside my own head, and it wasn’t based in reality.
I knew I had to change my outlook, so I pushed myself to see the good in myself and the reasons why I’m likable; as a result, I began to see the good in others again too.
It’s not an easy process, and for many, it requires therapy and months of time. However, you can begin your journey back to kindness by being kinder to yourself.
Listen closely to your destructive, self-critical thoughts. Are they based in reality, or are you fabricating them?
If you criticize yourself because you feel guilty about things you did in the past, work on nurturing self-forgiveness, just as you’d forgive a loved one for those same mistakes.
If you criticize yourself because you were raised to believe you were a bad person, recognize this isn’t true, and know that you can choose to heal and challenge this belief as an adult.
Try to look at yourself from an outside perspective and remind yourself of all the unique and beautiful qualities you possess and have the ability to share with the world.
With enough time and effort, you will begin to see the pattern in your unkind behavior and its lix to your own anger at yourself.
Once you can hone in on your feelings about yourself, you can begin to make conscious decisions to be kind to others instead of lashing out as a coping mechanism.
I have always unfalteringly held the belief that people are inherently good, and only do bad things in reaction to bad situations.
你無法控制他人的行為和行動,只能控制自己對他們的反應。
如果你自己是那個不友好的人,是時候進行自我反思了。你為什么要攻擊人?你是在試圖保護自己免受傷害嗎?
在我的情況下,我因為覺得自己和社交不來,開始失去朋友而感到沮喪。之后,我避開社交聚會,只是加劇了問題。
我經常會想些消極的事情,比如 “沒有人喜歡你”,“誰會想和你做朋友?”以及“你不配有那些朋友”。在我自己的腦海中創(chuàng)造了一種毒性環(huán)境,而這并不是建立在現實基礎上的。
我知道我必須改變自己的觀念,于是我努力發(fā)掘自己的好處和可愛之處;結果,我重新開始看到別人的優(yōu)點。
這不是一個簡單的過程,對于許多人來說,它需要治療和數月的時間。然而,你可以通過更加善待自己開始回歸善良的旅程。
仔細聽一聽你那些破壞性的、自我批判的想法。它們是基于現實的,還是你在捏造?
如果你因為過去做過的事情感到內疚而批評自己,那么就努力培養(yǎng)自我寬恕,就像你會原諒愛人犯同樣的錯誤一樣。
如果你因為你成長的環(huán)境讓你相信自己是一個壞人而批評自己,認識到這不是真的,并且知道你可以選擇作為一個成年人去治愈和挑戰(zhàn)這種信念。
試著從外部視角看待自己,并提醒自己擁有與世界分享的獨特而美妙的品質。
經過足夠的時間和努力,你將開始看到自己不友善行為的模式及其與你自己內心的憤怒之間的聯系。
一旦你能夠磨練出關于自己的感受,你就可以開始做出有意識的決定,對他人友善,而不是采用出其不意的應對機制來抨擊他人。
我一直堅定地相信,人本質上是善良的,只有在面對不良情況時才會做出不好的事情。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網 http://nxnpts.cn 轉載請注明出處
Exactly how unkind a person can be to his life most of the times.
Let me explain:
I believe that this world is a game. Our goal is to complete hard missions which cause genuine impact in this world. In order to do this we must constantly upgrade our character(our bodies are the character and the mind is the remote control). Most people don't take remote control in their hands and live their lives on automatic mode.If you are not this you are being unkind to your life and you would have to pay for it.
If you are not taking care your character you would have to pay for it. If you notice carefully there is a pattern in this world. Most things which give instant gratifaction cause harm in long term and most things which feel painful actually give benifits in long run.
Do share your opinion in comment section
一個人可以對自己的生活多么不友善,常常令人驚訝。
讓我來解釋一下:
我相信這個世界是一個游戲,我們的目標是完成艱難的任務,產生真正的影響。為了做到這一點,我們必須不斷提升自己的角色(我們的身體是角色,心靈是遙控器)。大多數人不拿遙控器進行控制,而是以自動模式生活。如果你不這樣做,你會對自己的生活不友善,并且你必須為此付出代價。
如果你不好好照顧你的性格,你就不得不為此付出代價。如果你仔細觀察,你會發(fā)現世界上存在一種模式。大多數能夠立即滿足你的東西在長期內會帶來傷害,而感到痛苦的大多數事物實際上能夠長期受益。
請在評論區(qū)分享您的意見。
Life can be very unkind to some people, sometimes as a result of circumstances beyond their control such as natural disasters, illness, or accidents. Other times, unkindness can stem from intentional actions of others such as abuse, bullying, discrimination, or injustice. It's also important to note that some people may face multiple challenges and hardships, making their experiences of life even more difficult.
However, it's also worth mentioning that life can also be full of kindness and generosity, and many people experience love, support, and positive experiences despite facing challenges. It's important to remember that every person's journey is unique, and no one's life can be reduced to a single adjective such as "unkind.
生活可以對某些人非常殘酷,有時是由于他們無法控制的環(huán)境因素,如自然災害、疾病或意外事故。其他情況下,不良行為可能源于他人故意的行為,如虐待、欺凌、歧視或不公正行為。還需要注意的是,有些人可能面臨多重挑戰(zhàn)和困難,使他們的生活經歷更加艱難。
然而,同樣值得一提的是,生活也可以充滿善意和慷慨,許多人在面對挑戰(zhàn)時仍然經歷著愛、支持和積極的經歷。重要的是要記住每個人的旅程都是獨特的,沒有人的生活可以被簡化為一個單一的形容詞,比如“不友善”。
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.” ~Khalil Gibran
I recently travelled to Malaysia for a friend’s wedding where I spent four delicious days communing with wild monkeys and feasting on sticky rice. The people were kind and warm, the culture rich, the trip magical.
On my last day in Kuala Lumpur, I was headed out to buy souvenirs for family and friends when I stumbled across the most beautiful temple—filled with ornate gold and red statues, air thick with sweet-smelling smoke.
I wandered around, overcome with majesty, trying to breathe it all in. I was still under the temple’s spell when someone spoke to me.
“Your dress is ugly.”
“我從健談者身上學會了沉默,從不寬容者身上學會了寬容,從不友善者身上學會了友善?!?~卡利爾·賈伯朗
我最近到馬來西亞參加朋友的婚禮,我在那里度過了四個美妙的日子,與野生猴子交流,并享用糯米飯。當地人非常友善熱情,文化豐富,這次旅行非常神奇。
在吉隆坡的最后一天,我打算去買給家人和朋友的紀念品時,偶然發(fā)現了最美的寺廟——寺內擺滿了華麗的金色和紅色雕像,空氣中彌漫著甜香味。
我在四處漫游,被宏偉景象所征服,試圖吸收一切。當有人對我說話時,我仍然沉浸在寺廟的魔力之中。
你的服裝很丑。
“Sorry?” I said, thinking I must have misheard. She waved me off.
I stood there for a moment, trying to decide on a course of action. She was American, the first and only other American I’d met during my trip.
Had she really just said my dress was ugly? It was a simple blue affair, uncomplicated and perfect for traveling. Maybe she said my dress was pretty, I thought. I must have misunderstood.
The hurt and confusion was rising to a crescendo in my head. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that we all have a choice of how we choose to respond to what we are given. I chose to engage.
“Did you just say my dress is ugly?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I did.”
我向右看去,聲音傳來的地方。一名女子坐在長椅上,沒有朝我的方向看。
“對不起?”我說著,想著自己可能聽錯了。她揮了揮手。
我站在那里,嘗試著決定接下來該怎么做。她是美國人,是我在旅行中遇到的第一個也是唯一一個美國人。
她真的剛才說我的連衣裙很丑嗎?它是一件簡單的藍色連衣裙,適合旅行,沒有復雜的裝飾,很完美。也許她說我的連衣裙很漂亮,我想我可能誤解了。
我內心的痛苦和困惑越來越強烈。但是如果過去幾年我學到了什么,那就是我們都有選擇如何回應我們所得到的東西。我選擇去參與和應對。
“你剛剛說我的裙子丑嗎?”我問道。
“是的,”她說?!拔艺f了?!?/b>
“I’m entitled to my opinion,” she said. “Your dress is ugly; I can tell it’s not well made. Your purse is dirty. I am free to voice my thoughts and those are my thoughts about you.”
To say it felt like getting slapped in the face would be an understatement; it was more of a punch to the gut. My blood boiled, my heart raced, and still I kept my voice at an even keel.
“You are entitled to your own opinion,” I said. “But we also live in congress with other human beings. Why would you say something so aggressive and unkind?”
At which point she reiterated her insults. Her words sliced coolly into the way I looked and the clothes I wore. That’s when I said the one thing I regret saying.
“I wish there were fewer Americans like you traveling abroad,” I told her. “You give the rest of us a bad name.”
I turned and walked away, and she yelled one more barb at my back as I walked out of the temple. I didn’t turn around.
My hands were shaking as I walked down the street. I felt a strange knot of emotions in my chest: hurt, anger, fear.
I was irrationally terrified that I would run into her again, that she would be sitting in the seat next to me on my flight home and I would be subjected to seventeen hours of her cruelty, unable to escape.
我深深地吸了一口氣,并鎮(zhèn)靜地回答道:“你為什么要這樣說我呢?”
“我有權發(fā)表自己的意見,”她說。“你的裙子很丑,我能看出它不是很精制。你的錢包很臟。我可以自由發(fā)表我的想法,這就是我對你的看法?!?br /> 說嘗試用“像被打耳光”來形容那種感覺實在太抬舉它了,那更像是被一拳擊中了胃部。我血液沸騰,心臟狂跳,但我仍保持冷靜的語氣。
“你有權擁有自己的觀點,”我說道。“但是我們也要與其他人類一同生活。你為什么要說出那么具有攻擊性和不友善的話呢?”
在那時她重復了她的侮辱。她的話輕松地切入了我的外表和我穿的衣服。那時我說了我后悔說的一件事。
“我希望像你這樣出國旅行的美國人能少一些,”我告訴她,“你給我們其他人抹黑了?!?br /> 我轉身走開了,她在我走出寺廟時向我背后又喊了一句刺骨的話。我沒有回頭。
當我走在街上時,我的手在顫抖。我感到胸中有一種奇怪的情緒結:痛苦,憤怒和恐懼。
我非常害怕再次遇見她,擔心她會坐在我回家的航班上的座位旁邊,我將被迫忍受長達十七個小時的她的殘忍,無法逃脫。
I couldn’t call my boyfriend, who was back in our sunny home in California, or my best friend in DC—both of whom were sound asleep halfway across the world. So I was left to process what had happened on my own, in a foreign country, without my normal triumvirate of “healthy coping mechanisms”: yoga, conversation, tea.
And here’s what it all came down to: kindness.
I had just read the wonderful convocation address given by George Saunders to the Syracuse class of 2013. George talks about something he calls a “failure of kindness,” and those three words were very much on my mind.
Yes, you could say I had suffered from a failure of kindness. But what I realized was that I, too, had been unkind.
但最讓我感到困惑的是,為什么這個女人選擇攻擊我?為什么她會說出那樣的話?
我無法給在我們陽光明媚的家鄉(xiāng)加州的男友或是在華盛頓特區(qū)的最好的朋友打電話——他們都在世界的另一半沉睡著。所以我只能獨自在一個陌生的國家里處理所發(fā)生的事情,沒有我平時使用的“健康應對機制”:瑜伽、談話、喝茶。
這一切最終歸結為:善良。
我剛剛讀了喬治·桑德斯在2013年錫拉丘茲畢業(yè)典禮上演講,該演講非常精彩。喬治談到了他稱之為“善良的失敗”的事情,這三個詞一直縈繞在我的腦海中。
是的,你可以說我遭受了善良的失敗。但我意識到的是,我自己也曾不夠友善。
Because I do hope that for her. I hope that she is bathed in loving-kindness, that she is inundated with so much that she cannot help but share it with the world.
While it’s true that kindness engenders kindness, the lack of it can be a powerful teacher.
For my remaining hours in Kuala Lumpur, I was abundantly kind to everyone I met. I complimented a girl on her joyful spirit, told shop owners how beautiful their merchandise was, smiled widely and genuinely. I made a point to be kind to these warm, generous people who had so kindly shared their country with me.
And every time I was shown kindness, no matter how small, I felt immeasurably grateful.
That woman gave me a great gift. She reminded me that we all have a choice to be kind, and we are presented with that choice many times a day.
我希望我沒有對她說我說的話。那來自我的受傷,從感覺需要反擊的地方。我希望我曾經說過:“我希望你遇到的人都是善良的?!?br /> 因為我真的希望她能夠這樣。我希望她被愛和善意所浸潤,以至于她無法不與世界分享這種愛與善意。
雖然善良能回報善良,但缺乏善良也能成為強大的教師。
在吉隆坡我剩余的時間里,我對遇到的每個人都十分友善。我夸獎了一個女孩的快樂精神,告訴商店老板他們的商品有多漂亮,真心微笑著。我特別想對這些熱情、大度的人表示友善,他們慷慨地與我分享了自己的國家。
每當有人向我表現出善意,無論那有多么微小,我都感到無限感激。
那個女人給了我一份偉大的禮物,她提醒我我們都可以選擇變得善良,而且每天都會被呈現出這個選擇。