如何一句話惹惱一個(gè)國家？（三）

Anirban Kar
‘India is a poor country.’
Evan Spiegel said this once. In addition to Snapchat, even Snapdeal got down rated on Play Store. No, our entire country isn’t like it’s depicted in Slumdog Millionaire.
‘Any proof of surgical strikes?’
This triggered so many people that when Balakot strikes happened no one dared to question if it was effective.
‘India is intolerant.’
Ask Amir Khan, SRK.
‘Lata Mangeshkar should die.’
Tanmay Bhatt was greatly criticised after he made a mini vine on this. In general, there is a great deal of reverence for senior citizens.
‘Sachin Tendulkar is overrated.’
Don’t you ever try in Public. He’s God to most cricket followers.
‘Pakistan zindabad.’
There’s a question on Quora, check it out.
‘Hindi should be national language.’
This won’t trigger the entire country, but the Southern part. Two powerful political parties took birth and have been reigning since the first time someone said this.
‘Nathuram Godse had a reason…’
He assassinated Mahatma Gandhi, the man on our money. Some say his reason for doing so was compelling, mostly ruling party followers. Most Indians will not hear a word against Gandhi.
(No I do not subscribe to Pragya Thakur’s school of thought, Indians reading this please don’t report me.)
‘Salman Khan movies are shite.’
Bhai has a bigger fan base than Man City and PSG combined.
‘Chowkidar chor hai.’
Chowkidar and his supporters destroyed the political career of the one who said it.

“印度是一個(gè)貧窮的國家”
——埃文 · 斯皮格爾曾經(jīng)這樣說過，還有Snapchat，之后Snapchat在谷歌Play Store評(píng)級(jí)降低了，不，我們的整個(gè)國家并不像《貧民窟的百萬富翁》描述的那樣。
“有外科手術(shù)式襲擊（巴基斯坦）的證據(jù)嗎”
——這會(huì)惹惱很多人，以至于當(dāng)巴拉科特襲擊發(fā)生時(shí)，沒有人敢質(zhì)疑它是否有效。
“印度不寬容”
——問問阿米爾汗，SRK。
“拉塔 · 曼格什卡應(yīng)該死”
——坦邁巴哈特因?yàn)樵谶@個(gè)問題上做了一個(gè)小小的改動(dòng)而受到了嚴(yán)厲的批評(píng)，總的來說，人們對(duì)老年人抱有極大的尊敬。
“沙奇·德魯卡被高估了?！?br /> ——千萬不要在公共場合這樣說，他是大多數(shù)板球迷的上帝。
“巴基斯坦萬歲”
——Quora上有一關(guān)于這個(gè)的問題，看看吧。
“印地語應(yīng)該成為國家語言”
——這不會(huì)惹惱整個(gè)國家，但至少會(huì)惹惱南印度，自從第一次有人說這句話后，兩個(gè)強(qiáng)大的政黨就誕生了，并一直在執(zhí)政。
“納圖拉姆 · 戈德斯刺殺甘地是有原因的...”
他暗殺了圣雄甘地，印在我們貨幣上的那個(gè)人，一些人說他這樣做是有原因的，是迫不得已，大多數(shù)是執(zhí)政黨的追隨者，大多數(shù)印度人喜歡聽到反對(duì)甘地的話。
“薩爾曼 · 汗的電影都是垃圾”
——薩爾曼 · 汗粉絲數(shù)量比曼城和PSG戰(zhàn)隊(duì)的總和還要多。
“ Chowkidar是賊 ”
—— Chowkidar和他的支持者摧毀了說這話的人的政治生涯。

Kamran Ahmadli, lives in Baku, Azerbaijan
Azerbaijan
“What is Azerbaijan?”
“Does this country really exist?” etc.
Do people really study geography at school? I can understand if people don't know much about the country but that's so strange when people even don't know about the existence of any country.
“Karabakh is Armenian”
Karabakh is a disputed land between Azerbaijan and Armenia. Never say this if you visit my country by chance.
“Azerbaijani coffee”
Every second foreigner says that in Azerbaijan. If we are kinda siblings of Turkey that doesn't mean we also drink coffee.
There's no Azerbaijani coffee. We drink mostly tea.
“Azerbaijan is a Muslim country”.
We avoid this phrase. Azerbaijan is a secular state without any official religion. If you say this phrase, wait for a long lecture from the local how irreligious we are. “Azerbaijan is a nominally Muslim-populated state” is correct.
“Aliyev is a dictator”.
Everyone in my country perfectly knows who is Aliyev without a comment from a foreigner. When saying this to the local you just put this person into the awkward situation. Try to avoid any political topics with Azerbaijanis.

阿塞拜疆
"阿塞拜疆是什么？"
"這個(gè)國家真的存在嗎？"等等。
—— 你上學(xué)的時(shí)候真學(xué)過地理嗎？如果人們對(duì)這個(gè)國家不了解，我可以理解，但當(dāng)人們甚至不知道某個(gè)國家的存在時(shí)，這就太奇怪了。
"卡拉巴赫（納卡）是亞美尼亞的"
卡拉巴赫是阿塞拜疆和亞美尼亞之間有爭議的土地，如果你偶然來到我的國家，千萬不要這樣說。
"阿塞拜疆咖啡"
—— 在阿塞拜疆，每一個(gè)外國人都會(huì)這么說，即使我們和土耳其人是姻親關(guān)系，但并不意味著我們也喝咖啡。
阿塞拜疆沒有咖啡，我們主要喝茶。
"阿塞拜疆是一個(gè)穆斯林國家"
—— 我們避免使用這句話，阿塞拜疆是一個(gè)沒有任何官方宗教的世俗國家，如果你說這句話，就等著聽當(dāng)?shù)厝说拈L篇大論吧，我們非常沒有宗教信仰，"阿塞拜疆是一個(gè)名義上穆斯林居住的國家 "，這句話是正確的。
"阿利耶夫是個(gè)獨(dú)裁者"
——在我的國家，每個(gè)人都知道阿利耶夫是何許人也，不需要外國人的評(píng)論，對(duì)當(dāng)?shù)厝苏f這句話，你會(huì)陷入尷尬的境地，盡量避免與阿塞拜疆人談?wù)撊魏握卧掝}。

Tahmidul Alam Atul, lives in Dhaka, Bangladesh
Bangladeshi Here
“Indian army liberated Bangladesh in 1971”.
Explanation: London Times, in 1971, reported that, “If blood is the price of independence, then Bangladesh has paid the highest price in history.”
3 million martyrs and 4 lakh raped mothers and sisters are the “price”.
[NB: India helped Bangladesh when we needed it the most. India and Bangladesh are supposed to be good friends. Unfortunately this kind of blind arrogance puts serious stress on our relationship]
"Crimes against humanity: trial in Bangladesh"
30 lakh martyrs a settled history

我孟加拉人。
"印度軍隊(duì)在1971年解放了孟加拉國"。
——解釋一下，《 倫敦時(shí)報(bào)》曾在1971年報(bào)道說 ："如果鮮血是獨(dú)立的代價(jià)，那么孟加拉國就付出了史上最高的代價(jià)"。
300萬烈士和40萬被強(qiáng)奸的母親和姐妹，這就是我們付出的 "代價(jià)"。
[注：印度在我們最需要的時(shí)候幫助了孟加拉國，印度和孟加拉國應(yīng)該是好朋友，不幸的是，這種盲目的傲慢給我們的關(guān)系帶來了嚴(yán)重的壓力 ]
鏈接：”危害人類罪: 孟加拉國的審判”
鏈接：300萬烈士，一段塵埃落定的歷史

Valeriu Tomi
How to trigger the biggest part of the population of Romania in a few seconds:
Transylvania belongs to Hungary - no, it belongs to Romania
Romanians aren’t the original inhabitants of Transylvania - keep saying that to yourself
Bessarabia belongs to Russia - is that you, comrade Stalin?
The Moldovans are completely different people from Romanians - again, is that you, comrade Stalin?
Romanians and Gypsies are the same - they are two different ethnicities, with different traditions and language. The Gypsies came from India, and they don’t live only in Romania, but all over the world
Vlad the Impaler was a bastard and mass-killer - Vlad wasn’t a saint, but his cruelty, many times exaggerated, wasn’t unusual for those times. Let’s not forget that he lived in the Middle Age
Nadia Com?neci is overrated - the person who won the first perfect 10 in the history of gymnastics also won another eight notes of 10 and a total of 5 five Olympic Gold medals is overrated, isn’t she?

如何在幾秒鐘內(nèi)惹惱大多數(shù)羅馬尼亞人：
特蘭西瓦尼亞屬于匈牙利——不，它屬于羅馬尼亞
羅馬尼亞人不是特蘭西瓦尼亞的原始居民——繼續(xù)對(duì)自己這么說
比薩拉比亞屬于俄羅斯——是你嗎，斯大林同志？
摩爾多瓦人和羅馬尼亞人完全不同——再說一遍，是你嗎，斯大林同志？
羅馬尼亞人和吉普賽人是一樣的——他們是兩個(gè)不同的民族，有著不同的傳統(tǒng)和語言，吉普賽人來自印度，他們不僅住在羅馬尼亞，而且遍及世界各地。
弗拉德三世是私生子、屠夫——弗拉德不是一個(gè)圣人，但是他的殘忍很多時(shí)候被夸大了，這在那個(gè)時(shí)代并不少見，我們不要忘記他生活在中世紀(jì)。
納迪亞 · 科姆內(nèi)西被高估了——這位在體操歷史上首次獲得完美10分的運(yùn)動(dòng)員，還獲得了另外8個(gè)10分，總共5塊奧運(yùn)金牌的成績也能算被高估 ？

Miao Tinghai, lived in Shanghai
China here. Here’s few,
China isn’t capable to produce [anything, like the ball of ballpoint pen]. So now China becomes the only country which has all industrial sectors defined by UN. But Chinese people are still not satisfied, and will be disappointed when knowing anything they couldn’t produce.
Are you Japanese? Imagine you ever taught a neighbor N to farm year by year. One day, N met another blacksmith B and learnt how to manufacture steel stick from B. After that, N came back with a steel stick and rushed into your house and burnt it into ruin. You had nowhere to live, so you just left. By years of wandering, you met a person P who was B’s neighbor . P embraced you passionately and said “Are you N? I heart you from B. He said you were talent and he had gifted you a steel stick. Is it good to use?”
[Any one of Chinese cuisines] is the most delicious. There are thousands of cuisines in China, which are mainly divided into 8 types. I myself come from a very very small county and most of food I was used to in my childhood can not be found in Shanghai where I’m living. People tend to have their own favorite taste and Chinese people are very serious of eating. I will raise a big obxtion if you say for example Cantonese cuisine is the most delicious.
You are knowledge-less. Chinese worship knowledge. It is a serious insult to Chinese if you think he is knowledge-less. I saw many Hollywood movies playing jokes on math. Chinese students think it rather shameful/pity .
Why not give [any part of China] independence? Chinese value family, very much. And Chinese have a deep idea that home is a small country and country is a big home. It sounds to Chinese like a question of “Why not let your cousins become not your cousins” Emm, how?

中國人在此，這里有一些：
“中國沒有能力生產(chǎn) [ 任何東西，比如圓珠筆筆芯 ]”
—— 現(xiàn)在中國已經(jīng)成為唯一一個(gè)擁有聯(lián)合國定義的所有工業(yè)部門的國家，但中國人仍然不滿意，當(dāng)有他們不能生產(chǎn)的東西時(shí)，他們會(huì)感到失望。
“你是日本人嗎？”
——想象一下你曾經(jīng)年復(fù)一年教一個(gè)鄰居N種地，一天，N遇到了鐵匠B，跟鐵匠B那學(xué)制造鐵棍。
之后，N 拿著一根鐵棍回來，沖進(jìn)你的房子，把它燒成了廢墟，你沒有地方住，所以無奈離開，經(jīng)過多年的流浪，你遇到了一個(gè)人P，他是鐵匠B的鄰居，P 熱情地?fù)肀Я四?，說：" 你是N嗎 ？鐵匠B說你是個(gè)人才，我從鐵匠B那里得知有你這么一號(hào)人，他還送了你一根鋼棍，好用嗎？"
“[中國xx菜系] 是最美味的”
中國有上千種菜系，主要分為八種，我自己來自一個(gè)非常非常小的縣城，我童年時(shí)吃慣的大部分食物在我居住的上海都找不到，人們往往有自己喜歡的口味，中國人對(duì)吃是非常認(rèn)真的，如果你說廣東菜是最好吃的，我會(huì)有很大的異議。
“你無知”
—— 中國人崇拜知識(shí)，如果你說一個(gè)中國人沒有知識(shí)，那是對(duì)中國人的嚴(yán)重侮辱，我看到很多好萊塢電影在拿數(shù)學(xué)開玩笑，中國學(xué)生認(rèn)為這相當(dāng)可恥/可惜。
“為什么不讓( 中國的某部分) 獨(dú)立？”
——中國人非常重視家庭，中國人有一種深刻的觀念，認(rèn)為家是一個(gè)小國，而國是一個(gè)大家庭，對(duì)中國人來說，這聽起來就像是問 : “為什么不讓你的表兄妹不做你的表兄妹?”

Dori Kay
Hungary:
“OH SO YOU ARE FROM HUNGARY? ARE YOU HUNGRY?”
Honestly, saying this will get any Hungarian triggered at you. I’m even triggered while writing it.

匈牙利:
“哦，你是從匈牙利來的? ”你餓嗎?”
說實(shí)話，說這句話會(huì)讓任何匈牙利人對(duì)你發(fā)火，我甚至寫下這句話都火了。

Benjamin Charlin
French here!
Im sorry if any other French have already did it, I may have miss it
To the least infuriating to the instantly triggered
-Not speaking French when speaking with a French tourist
We expect you to speak French.
-not speaking French in France
See above.
-”your car are slow, and unreliable”
No they are not, try them.
-Britain
We love them, in a older brother kind of relation, but do not say they have a best country than us because it's wrong.
-England
See above.
-the visitors in America, NY taxi, and the American version of intouchable and misérable
Why ?
-”France didn't invent anything good”
For example: France make the first personal computer in 1973, basically everything America have ever invented is a copied French invention, plus, see above.
-insulting Napoléon Bonaparte or even worse Géneral Charles De Gaulle
It's like insulting George Washington, you won't get away with it.
-Food
Food is like religion in France, it's sacred, neither you like or not, you like it. Plus, if you are a tourist you have absolutely no right to criticize it.
-socialism
It's perfectly working here, your capitalism fail in 2008, and stop the entire world.
-”your aren't really free cause you can't legally afford a gun”
In France we have no schools shouting, that mean I can freely go to public schools without dying at any point of time.
-America
It's like a sibling of Britain (see above) but you don't like him that much, is always mocking you, even if you helped him countless of time, and try to outsmart you, even if he is in fourth grade and you are in college.
-neo-nazi
OH boy! it's directly prison for you, plus we keep you to rolls the dice for two long years.
-this race thing you have in America
We didn't need it to prove we are truly French, plus see above.
-”French soldiers are coward, your weapons are a joke, you will surrender again anyway, at the end it's a good thing your MBT have 6 speed in reverse, because you can leave the battlefield faster for the mighty America”
Fuck off, French people may don't like a lot their troops, but that doesn't give you the right to make joke about them, plus, we didn't surrender, never, France have the greatest war record in history.
-your weird American flex.
It's not because you're American, you're better than anyone else, plus, you're not the greatest country, you didn't invent freedom, you didn't invent democracy either.
-”we have the greatest country in the world (said by a not French)”
You are wrong, and a little dumm dumm, France isn't a the greatest country either, but we are intelligent enough to see it.
There is way more, but I am too triggered to continue this post any longer
Edit:
For me the ultimate trigger is…:
-The put**n de french fries.
Okay so France is known for the high quality food, yet the frenchiest food for the rest of the world is an oily potato. Great guy, the fries are Belgium, but it's not giving to cesar what should be to cesar, no no no, the belge can keep their little potato, we won't assume your diabetes.
England was enlighted enough too give a name: chips.
But you American go for the score, call it French fries then assume it's French, even if in English French mean cut into slivers, like it should be, then call it freedom fries because we're unaware of our own language.
The little bonus:
-The Michelin’s stars.
“What ? A French triggered by a French thing, it must be broken in his little insecure head.”
Hear me out:
Michelin make tires for a living, in fact, the best their was so good in the 30’s they could drive 8 hours straight, and the marketing guy was a genius.
“our tires can drive 8 hours straight however you cannot, so here a map of every “auberge” ranked from one to three stars, for you, to easily rest on the road”
It was a silly idea but it was a hit, because the map was actually helpful, however, tourist, take it seriously, too seriously. So seriously it's a real thing now, a tires company was taken seriously on food? In France? And you mock us for your mistake? Now every restaurant have their michelin's stars (if they are worthy enough) even in France, but in France we say just stars, because food ranked by tires company is stupid.

我是法國人!
如果有其他法國人已經(jīng)說過了，那我抱個(gè)歉，我可能是錯(cuò)過了，沒看到。
最不容易被激怒但又會(huì)惹惱法國人的是：
與法國游客交談時(shí)不說法語
——我們希望你能說法語。
在法國不說法語
——參見上一條。
"你們的車很慢，而且不靠譜"
——不，并不是，試試吧。
英國
——我們愛他們：以兄長的身份，但不要說他們的國家比我們好，因?yàn)檫@是錯(cuò)的。
英格蘭
——參見上一條。
美國游客，紐約出租車，以及各種美國版的刻板印象。
——為什么？
看看這個(gè) "法國沒有發(fā)明任何好東西"
——法國在1973年制造了第一臺(tái)個(gè)人電腦，基本上所有美國人的發(fā)明都是抄襲法國人的發(fā)明。
侮辱拿破侖或戴高樂先生（更糟糕）
——這就像侮辱喬治華盛頓一樣，你是不會(huì)得逞的。
美食
——在法國，美食就像宗教，它是神圣的，無論你樂意還是不樂意：你都必須喜歡它，另外，如果你是一個(gè)游客，你絕對(duì)沒有權(quán)利批評(píng)它。
社會(huì)主義
—— 它在這里完全有效，你們的資本主義在2008年失敗了，讓整個(gè)世界都停止了。
"你們不是真的自由，因?yàn)槟銈儾荒芎戏ǖ刭彉屩?
—— 在法國，我們沒有校園槍擊案，這意味著我可以自由地去學(xué)校而不會(huì)莫名其妙的就死了。
美國
—— 美國就像英國的兄弟（參見上條），但你不太喜歡他，他總是嘲笑你，即使你無數(shù)次地幫助他，他總想著表現(xiàn)得比你聰明，即使他是小學(xué)生，而你是大學(xué)生。
新納粹分子
——哦，孩砸！這對(duì)你來說，直接等同于進(jìn)監(jiān)獄。
美國那種種族問題
——我們不需要它來證明我們是真正的法國人。
法國士兵是懦夫，你們的武器是個(gè)笑話，反正你們會(huì)再次投降，還好你們的主戰(zhàn)坦克有6檔倒車，你們可以更快地離開戰(zhàn)場去找強(qiáng)大的美國。
—— 滾你的吧，法國人可能不喜歡自己的軍隊(duì)，但這并不意味著你有權(quán)利拿他們開玩笑，另外，我們沒有投降，從來沒有，法國有歷史上最偉大的戰(zhàn)爭記錄。
怪異的美國式小聰明
—— 不是因?yàn)槟闶敲绹耍憔捅热魏稳硕己?，另外，你國也不是最偉大的國家，你們既沒有發(fā)明自由，也沒有發(fā)明民主。
"我們是世界上最偉大的國家（ 非法國人口中說出）
—— 你錯(cuò)了，而且有點(diǎn)愚蠢，法國也不是最偉大的國家，但我們有足夠的智慧來看待自己。
還有更多，但我可能太激動(dòng)了，這個(gè)帖子簡直沒法繼續(xù)下去。
編輯：
對(duì)我來說，終極惹惱觸發(fā)點(diǎn)是.....:
法國炸薯?xiàng)l
—— 好吧，法國以高質(zhì)量的美食而聞名，然而對(duì)世界其他國家來說，最法國的食物是油膩的土豆。
拜托，薯?xiàng)l是比利時(shí)的，不不不，比利時(shí)人的小土豆還是留給他們自己吧，我們不會(huì)假設(shè)你有糖尿病。
英國很開明，也給取了一個(gè)名字：chips。
但是你們美國人非要多事，叫什么“法式薯?xiàng)l”，然后假定它是法國的，就算按英語拼寫，所謂法式也是切成片狀的意思，然后你們竟然叫它“自由薯?xiàng)l”。
還有就是米其林星級(jí)。
——“啥？一個(gè)法國人被一個(gè)法國的東西給惹惱了，那一定是在他沒安全感的小腦袋秀逗了?！?br /> 聽我說完。
米其林以制造輪胎為生，事實(shí)上，在30年代，他們制造的輪胎非常好，可以連續(xù)行駛8小時(shí)，而營銷人員還是個(gè)天才。
" 我們的輪胎可以連續(xù)開8個(gè)小時(shí)，但是你的輪胎不能，你看，這里有一張從一星到三星的 "旅館 "評(píng)級(jí)地圖，可供你在路上輕松找到休憩之所?！?br /> 這是一個(gè)愚蠢的想法，但它擊中了痛點(diǎn)，因?yàn)檫@地圖的確是有幫助的，游客也給當(dāng)真了，最后變成了一個(gè)輪胎公司給食物評(píng)級(jí)？還是在法國？你嘲笑我們的錯(cuò)誤？現(xiàn)在每家餐廳都有米其林星級(jí)（如果他們夠格的話），但在法國我們只說“x星級(jí)”，不講“米其林x星”，因?yàn)樽屳喬ス九琶朗呈怯薮赖摹?/b>